Between Seasons

It’s sad that the start of a new journey can only begin with the death of an old one. Perhaps it’s only fitting that the last month has had the distinct air of a funeral. I spent the entire month shaking hands and hugging friends and acquaintances. Many of whom I fear I may never see again. Perhaps the bigger fear lies in the fact that we may see each other but never in the same way.

Tonight as I pack my life into neat boxes, each labeled “keep” or “discard“ I’m force to pass judgment on the tangible object that have been part my life. Fortunately, I do not have to do the same with my memories and I can keep as much as I want. And I want it all. The good, the bad and the ugly. I have had more than my fair share of good moment. Moments of laughter, smiles and joy and I am lucky to have been able to share it with good people .People I was lucky enough to have as friends. There is a special joy in sharing a memory with a friend, for in that memory you carry not just the thought and the emotion of the moment but you carry who you were at that point in time. And perhaps that is something I will need the most someday. But it hasn’t always been sunny and fun for there have also been moments of anger , sadness and tragedy .And It has been during these times of adversity that I have learned and grown the most.

Tomorrow I begin a new journey. And like all journeys of consequence and self discovery this too shall begin alone and amongst strangers. How this journey will turn out, I do not know. There are many who ask what I’ll become at the end of it and yet the question of real pertinence is not “what” but “who” I’ll become.

There is a part of me that hopes and dreams and yet there is a part of me that dreads what lies ahead. Perhaps that’s the best way to begin.