like i did

I’ll be singing “coming back to life” tomorrow in front of a pretty big crowd, like I did 7 years ago. I meant it then …and I’ll mean it tomorrow.

one of them

If government spending increases in an open economy given that taxes remain the same it will result in a national deficit and reduction in national saving thus leading to a reduction in export….

If you rub some oil before jumping into a river you won’t feel as cold….

I will forget one of them.

still

..and I turn 26.
I do not belong and I still like it that way.
I’m a little more bruised. I’m a little wiser. Wise enough to know I’m not.
The world still spins a little too fast.
No, I do not know what I want to do.
Orion is still on time. I still need him.
I worry about them.
Happiness is still the same. Sadness too.
They still talk about the weather over tea. It’s not as cold as last year.
A stupid joke from a friend is still funnier than a good one from a stranger.
The voices haven’t changed. Much.
Still running against the wind.
The picture is still the same.
The heart of the matter is that it is a matter of the heart. Still

An emotional moment

They served momos in the mess today. They were veg momo’s , thick, dry and weren’t particularly good.
But.. they were momos.

to then

I find my self unwell. And it couldn’t have come at a worse time. Let’s just say my professional alter ego doesn’t have the time to get sick .But that’s him and this is me and right now I’m boss. And I say I need some R&R.
As I get into bed I put on some music from that list I’d made when time was an easily available commodity. It’s a carefully chosen list of songs. Songs that take me back to then.

On the way to a river side picnic as a kid
My first song on stage
First crush
First song on the guitar
School leaving party
College room. Low lights and a lot of philosophy
Goa first trip..
College room. Low lights and even more philosophy
Low days
Leaving the hostel
That girl
Work
More goa days
Songs at 46
Late night car rides.. more philosophy
The Fight
Season End

A part of me feels better . The other part is still pretty sick and needs to sleep.

cause

cause maybe sounded good

Between Seasons

It’s sad that the start of a new journey can only begin with the death of an old one. Perhaps it’s only fitting that the last month has had the distinct air of a funeral. I spent the entire month shaking hands and hugging friends and acquaintances. Many of whom I fear I may never see again. Perhaps the bigger fear lies in the fact that we may see each other but never in the same way.

Tonight as I pack my life into neat boxes, each labeled “keep” or “discard“ I’m force to pass judgment on the tangible object that have been part my life. Fortunately, I do not have to do the same with my memories and I can keep as much as I want. And I want it all. The good, the bad and the ugly. I have had more than my fair share of good moment. Moments of laughter, smiles and joy and I am lucky to have been able to share it with good people .People I was lucky enough to have as friends. There is a special joy in sharing a memory with a friend, for in that memory you carry not just the thought and the emotion of the moment but you carry who you were at that point in time. And perhaps that is something I will need the most someday. But it hasn’t always been sunny and fun for there have also been moments of anger , sadness and tragedy .And It has been during these times of adversity that I have learned and grown the most.

Tomorrow I begin a new journey. And like all journeys of consequence and self discovery this too shall begin alone and amongst strangers. How this journey will turn out, I do not know. There are many who ask what I’ll become at the end of it and yet the question of real pertinence is not “what” but “who” I’ll become.

There is a part of me that hopes and dreams and yet there is a part of me that dreads what lies ahead. Perhaps that’s the best way to begin.

the step

My thoughts stepped off the bus that carried by battered body and mind home. It took him a single step to reach yesterday and another to find the field where much of my childhood was spent.
Yesterday blurred into now and the smell of the freshly cut grass and the sight of the undecided October evening sky came to life. There’s something about time that discards the insignificant and keeps the pertinent. Perhaps that’s why I don’t remember the troubles I had then, but know that I was happy. The feeling is contagious and makes a 20 year journey and brings a smile on my face.
I reach my stop, get off the bus and walk home. There’s a lot running through my mind and even more through my life. I sift through them and wonder how much of it can make a 20 year journey, I don’t know. Something tells me that the things that do make it ,will bring a smile to my face. Like the one I have on right now.