voices

exercise…
Don’t watch tv…
Study …
Concentrate on work…
Quit…(a lot of things)
Read..
Clean..(a lot of thing)
Sleep on time…
Wake up on time…
Don’t wait for the last date..
Plan…
Don’t plan…
Think. not too much.
Eat enough…not too much.
Eat right..
Less coffee…more water.
Smile..
Tidy up…
Call home…
pay your bills …
listen…
save…
grow up. don’t…
don’t waste.
Its not that important. It is
It doesn’t mean much. It does.
It’ll work out. It wont.
Its not always about you.
Focus.
Let go. Don’t.
Shut up.

She knows

I heard her call me today. On the bus.
She knows where I am. and that’s always a good sign.
It won’t be long now …a month or two.. max.
It’ll be good to be back in Goa.

like love

It has been 6 months since my last post. I had lost my will to write. Was it the lack of inspiration? Or was it the absence of non conforming thought?
I cannot say. But, I can say this. I tried …and nothing worked. Self induced depressions, mood alterations and alternators, sad movies, sunsets, stars …the works. They all failed, miserably.
And yet today you see this post…


We all have triggers .Emotions that change ones state of mind. Sadness and melancholy have always worked for me and yet what got me last night was neither. It was hate and vengeance.
They say that hate and vengeance in its true form are like love. They lack sense and logic. I agree.


Last Night.

There is a special joy in going to bed when one is sleep deprived. Comfortable, warm and secure I was on the line that divides us from wonderland. And then the power went out. That’s when it began.
There were three of them. Mosquitoes. They came, like all evil beings do, for no purpose of use. If it was blood they wanted, they could have had it, for I offered it to them, neck and all. Perhaps they wanted to kill me first. What joy they got, dancing around my ear I shall never know. But they did…long, hard and relentless. Close to dawn, alone in the dark…helpless, tired and sleepy I felt myself go insane.
I swore an oath. An oath so solemn and of a nature so grave, I heard heaven go silent. Shaking my fist at the sky, “As God Is My Witness….!!!”...You get the picture.
But I’m not totally insane. I don’t blame ALL mosquitoes. Just those specific three. So when I make it a point to go out of my way and kill any mosquitoes I see…its not cause I think its one of them…its cause I hope they’re related .